User:Deadfire/Interesting Battletech Things

Funny quotes, tropes, memes and text from both the Battletech Universe and the related real life situations of it.

Equipment section of the BattleMech Manual

• Autocannon — "This is my BOOMSTICK!"

• Rotary Autocannon — "It costs 72,000 C-Bills to fire this marvel of Davion engineering for 10 seconds."

• Machine Gun Array — "You see, it's kind of like a gatling gun made out of gatling guns. . ."

• Medium Range Missile Launcher — "One giant leap backward. It's like the Succession Wars in missile form."

• Heavy PPC — "This is the Lord's Light 3, the most powerful PPC in the Inner Sphere. It's my very favorite gun. I call her Doris."

• Plasma Cannon — "We have perfected your 'Plasma Rifle', Spheroid. That will be one Assault 'Mech." - Clan Diamond Shark Merchant.

• Claws — "RIP AND TEAR!"

• ECM Suite — "Only one man would dare use Somerset jamming techniques on me! ADAM STEINER!" - Nicolai Malthus, The Somerset Strikers series, broadcast 08/12/3052

• Targeting Computer — "All I'm saying is that it stops being just a computer when you've added four tons of servos and waldoes."

• Lance — “At last I can joust with a fusion bomb between my legs.”

• Mechanical Jump Booster — Go go Blakist Jump Booster!"

• Partial Wing — "Not so much flying as falling with style."

• Rocket Launcher — "Surprisingly ineffective as a jump jet aid."

• Stealth Armor — “WARNING: DOES NOT ACTUALLY TURN YOUR ’MECH INVISIBLE.”

• Supercharger — "Well, sir, it all started when Technician Barton told Davis to hold his beer. . ."

• Actuator Enhancement System — "New from Defiance Industries: the Axman, now with Kung-Fu Grip!"